You Don’t Know Yourself, So You Are Yourself
“Heavenly Way and Realms”
Today, I finished watching The Heavenly Way. Revisiting it brought me to tears during two profound scenes:
The first scene is when Rui Xiaodan decides not to pursue law school but instead to write novels. She asks Ding Yuanying three questions, and he answers each of them. Rui explains that when she chooses to express “cultural attributes” through novels and art, she feels an endless drive. Ding raises a toast to Rui’s “awakening,” and I was deeply moved by this moment.
The second scene is after Rui’s sacrifice. Ding, looking at her photo, says, “To live when it is time to live, to die when it is time to die. Come and go freely. Girl, remarkable indeed.” That “remarkable indeed” broke me completely.
Ding once told Rui that her realm surpassed his own. Rui didn’t understand and thought Ding was deliberately elevating her. But Ding genuinely believed Rui’s state of being was beyond his reach. Ding sought to live with clarity, yet struggled; Rui lived with spontaneity and ease.
Ding could understand Rui, and Rui could understand Ding.
Ding once said two enigmatic lines to Rui: “You don’t know yourself, so you are yourself. If you knew yourself, you wouldn’t be yourself.” Rui never fully grasped the meaning, but she didn’t need to. It was precisely because of this unknowing that Rui remained herself.
In The Heavenly Way, Ding is portrayed as someone who has seen through cultural attributes and human nature—a person who has “attained the Way.” Yet, there is a sorrowful truth: some spend their entire lives navigating twists and turns, struggling to grasp the Way, only to find it elusive. Others, like Rui, seem to embody the Way effortlessly. Ding is the former; Rui, the latter.
Some people circle back to a place where mountains are mountains and waters are waters. Others see mountains as mountains and waters as waters from the very beginning.
Unattainable.
Having a profound understanding of oneself is essential, as is living authentically. Many pursue the idea of “living as oneself,” while others simply live as themselves.
Be yourself.